Naked Locker Room Conversation Guy
My friend Drew, president of the Morgan Freeman fan club, proclaimed today ÂNaked Males Having Awkward Conversations in the YMCA Shower Day.
From Young Drewzy himself: So I went to the YMCA this morning. I played basketball from 5:30 until 7:30 AM. As I do everyday, I hit the showers after I got done playing because I gotta get fresh and clean for work because the kid is a professional who occassionaly rocks cuff links.
The showers at the YMCA are your standard prison-rape issue showers: big open room with shower heads and a place near each nozzle to put soap or shampoo, small green and white tiles on the wall, central drain, and a general uncomfortableness that make you that much more careful not to let the soap slip off of the tray near the shower head. The hooks to hang you towel are a good 5ft from the shower room, and most of the men at the YMCA take the Âopportunity to make a long, slow, naked walk to towel rack, sometimes stopping for a much needed naked stretch or cough.
So about 7:45 AM IÂm minding my own business, mid-shower. As with a lot of mornings, the hot water at the Y wasnÂt working. ItÂs not pleasant, but it makes for an efficient, in and out shower.
So in walks this man who looks a lot like a professor at Vanderbilt (Prof. Brandon). No big deal. He walks over to his nozzle, giving me the appropriate at-least-one-shower-length-buffer-zone and starts doing his thing. Him and I were getting along fine until . . . ÂSo how you doing this morning? he asks.
Uncomfortable Drew: Fine, man.
NakedConversationMan: No hot water for you either?
Uncomfortable Drew: Naw man.
NakedConversationMan: Well looks like weÂll be wide awake when we leave here today huh?
Rinsing off and ready to leave Drew: Yep.
NakedConversationMan: The pool water was kinda hot today, and now no hot water in the shower. They got it mixed up.
Violated Drew: ÂCrazy stuff. Take it easyÂ
I left. WhatÂs wrong with these people? I love being friendly, and I like to meet people. But shit, do you have to be friendly and meet people when weÂre in this prison-rape shower at the Y? CanÂt it wait? These are the type of dudes talking at funerals. I donÂt know what to do? I just wanted to make sure you got the memo.
I've also run into similar problems with the naked gym talker, although the guy at my gym is just fond of striking up conversations while he bends over naked and dries in-between his toes. One time I think I physically jumped into the locker to avoid him.
I think this is one of the most pressing issues facing our nation right now, and needs to be the subject of immediate legislation from congress. Forget abortion and gay marriage - the moral issue of the day is naked locker room guy.
Houston Housing Explosion
A Daily Dose is featuring an eye-catching sculptural installation called
Inversion by two Texas artists, Dan Havel and Dean Ruck.
The work was installed on two Houston houses, owned by the Art League, that were scheduled for demolition in order to make room for a new Art League building.
Inversion is an interesting, whimsical exploration of space and perspective, giving a new meaning to the phrase "opening up the space." It looks like something from a cartoon in the way it plays with physics, and its location in a residential neighborhood probably helps reinforce its fantastic quality.
Maybe the vortex in the side of the house is where everyone's money is being sucked with the escalating price of housing (at least in DC!).
Image from
Archinect.