Monday, March 28, 2005

Striped Shirts

While we here at P.R.A.D.E. don't generally cover fashion outside of sneakers and design t-shirts, this one was too good to pass up.

The Phat Phree has a great rundown of why people that wear striped button downs are soo cool.

If you are from DC, these are the people that go out in Adams Morgan, and then stand in line for 20 minutes to pay cover for the chance to buy an overpriced bottle of Absolut just so they are allowed to sit down in their striped shirts at a tiny table with a plastic "reserved" sign on it.

The author apparently has a real thing against striped-shirt guys (can you blame him?)

6 comment(s):

  • All my studly friends for sure wear stripey shirts -- look at this!


    By Blogger Chris, at 6:16 PM  

  • Quit spamming on my blog Chris.

    You shill.

    By Blogger PFC, at 6:23 PM  

  • (this is david, using Chris' identity)

    2 things:

    1. The Phat Phree article is a total ripoff of "Collars Up," a mockitorial which circulated last year and is pasted below.

    2. I wear striped shirts, and
    a) they are beautiful

    b) I'm not an asshole who goes out in search of pussy. Those are the people with their collars up:

    Wearing Your Collar Down is for Poor People
    By I.M. Adick, III

    When my ancestors came over to this great country 400 years ago, they had a vision for a utopia, free from minorities, liberals, poor people, homosexuals, and immigrants. There are few today who share such lofty ideals, but we're easy to find: Pastel polo shirts, loafers without socks, tucked-in shirts, but most importantly, collars up.

    Call me a douchebag. Call me an arrogant little cocksucking dickhead. Beat the shit out of me if I'm not with fifteen of my B-frat friends (unlikely). But just know this: I interned at Smith Barney this summer. Where did you work? A Blockbuster? That's right you insignificant sack of dogshit; I'm going to be your boss. So take your t-shirt wearing, financial aid, blue-collar ass over to Blockbuster and get me a copy of Old School. Do you even own a tuxedo?

    Look at my girlfriend. You think she'd go for someone who didn't have his collar up? I don't think so. I remember the night I met her. I bought her so many $9 drinks she couldn't even walk. So I drove her home in my BMW 328ci, but not before I took a few "liberties" with her. The next morning I took her to brunch and went to the mall, where I bought her some blouses. You assholes don't know the first thing about being a gentleman. You probably don't even know how to sail.

    When I get out of business school, I'm going to be making $120,000 a year. Add that to my trust fund, and I can buy a country club membership, a ski house, and still have enough money to go barhopping around the city in my designer clothes and shit-eating grin. Maybe I'll offer you a hundred bucks to flip my collar up for me. I earned it you middle-class fuck up. I bet you went to public school.

    You're so predictable. I bet I can guess your political party just by looking at you. My cronies and I range from elitist northern liberals to heartless conservative bastards. I've wasted enough time with you. Get some rich parents, an internship, and a pink polo with the collar up, and then maybe I'll let you hang out with me.

    By Blogger davido, at 6:27 PM  

  • Yeah - I saw that Collars Up article. Also a good one.

    What I like about the Striped Shirts one is the seething hate that comes out. This guy couldn't be any less subtle if he tried.

    But seeing as it is winter, I've seen more striped shirts than collars popped. When the real spring weather hits, I want someone to write a satire about pastel polos and ribbon belts.

    By Blogger PFC, at 6:54 PM  

  • You probably think that because your shirt has stripes you're fucking cool. Nope. Unless the buttons are ivory, sleeves are french-cuffed, and it cost you $300, you're just a Banana Republican (not the same as being a real republican). You're not worthy of Etro.

    Tosser! I wear this and laugh at you: http://www.bustedtees.com/product.php?name=collarup

    By Blogger Esqdc, at 1:06 PM  

  • Very interesting article. I don't think wearing striped shirts makes you cool or uncool I still think it is the person that determines the fashion style and coolness!

    By Anonymous Striped shirts, at 9:23 AM  

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