Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Got Yourself A Gun

How easy is it to send someone a gun in America? Apperently extremely easy.

Last night I came home and received notice that I had a package at the front desk from Fed Ex. I wasn't expecting anything, but maybe someone had thought I deserved a surprise. I took the package upstairs and opened it.

I brushed some of those foam popcorn things out the way and I found a holster on top, with something wrapped in bubble tape underneath. Curious and puzzled, I unwrapped the mysterious bulk, thinking to myself "It can't possibly be a . . . "

And then I felt the cold steel of a Glock 27 in my hand. Yes, someone had Fed Ex-ed me a god damn gat. The obvious questions ran through my head - Is someone trying to frame me for murdering a foreign leader? Am I being recruited to be a secret assassin for the government? Did I click on one of those banner ads to win a free iPod and instead receive a free semi-automatic pistol?

It looked like this - only with my fingerprints on it

I called the DC police, and then made myself a quick dinner and watched some K-1 Karate fighting on TV until they arrived (I'm not going to let a firearm on my kitchen counter mess with my plans for the evening).

I saw this guy, Bob Sapp, manhandle someone in K-1

When the cops showed up, they had similar difficulty figuring out how and why Fed Ex delivered a gun to me (complete with a separately wrapped clip full of bullets). My girlfriend came home in the midst of this to find three cops in our apartment and a gun on the counter - and that takes some explaining to get out of no matter who you are!

At first the 5.0 said that they would have to call CSI (yes, the real CSI) to come and take pictures and fingerprint the gun. Before that ever happened though, they tracked down a law enforcement agent who lived in my building with a somewhat similar name, and deduced that Fed Ex had addressed the package to me mistakenly instead of to him.

How that kind of mistake can possibly happen is beyond me. The gun didn't have any paperwork or documentation with it at all. And does the government really have no better way to deliver a gun to its agent then through Fed Ex?! I didn't even have to sign for the package - it was delivered to the dude who sits at the desk in my lobby and sat there until I got home!

So unfortunately the lesson here seems to be that you can send whatever you damn well please to someone through Fed Ex - including a pistol with a clip full of bullets. Truly one of the most bizarre situations I've ever heard of or been involved in.

It is a good thing for the agent that I wasn't a convicted criminal or disgruntled Postal worker. And I guess my secret agent days are over for now - until the Fed Ex man pays me a visit again . . .

1 comment(s):

  • If this really did go the way you say. Who ever sent this broke the law, you can ship a gun with no problem. You don't need any paper work if the gun has all the papers finished and singed for. The ammo on the other hand has to be shipped ground only and has to be marked on the package as ammo small arms. The gun can be mark just as sporting goods.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:14 PM  

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