Tuesday, March 01, 2005

The Rules of the Game

No Malice Palace is my shit.

My NYC friends will not be surprised in the slightest that I am hyping this place on the blog. Everytime I visit NYC, I try to make to No Malice Palace on at least one of my booze and red bull fueled evenings. Why? Allow me to introduce you to P.R.A.D.E.'s 5 Bar Commandments.

1. No cover - To put it simply, would you ever shop at a grocery store that charged you money to get in the door? NO. Why should I pay a bar for the chance to buy their overpriced drinks? And don't say for the atmosphere. That's why I pay the extra for the overpriced drinks when I know I can shake up a mean cocktail at home.

2. No guestlist/line - If the place is really too crowded to get in, then I understand. But I sure as hell am not going to be held outside so you can make your lounge look exclusive. And if I see a clip board with names on it - I'm gone. When you go to places with guest lists you can be sure you are going to get the crowd that frequents places with guest lists - and those are just not MY people. I also don't play those bullshit girl/guy quotients - all genitals should be treated equal.

3. No Dresscode - I shouldn't have to dress up to impress a bouncer, and places that put arbitrary rules like no sneakers obviously don't understand real style (I'm more impressed by some ill Nike's than your Prada loafers).

4. Place to sit - People are not cattle, and shouldn't be herded into a tiny space. Especially with the clumsy ass nature of drunk people. I'm not saying I want the spot to be empty, but I don't want the trip to the bar to be like running the gauntlet. Plus, I want the ability to grab a seat if I feel like it. Couches are preferable, but any seat will do. If I see a "Reserved" sign or you expect me to buy a 300 dollar bottle of f---ing Bacardi, I'm grabbing my coat and leaving. Oh, that's another thing - no coat checks. If the place is not laid back enough for me to toss my coat over the back of a sofa or chair, I don't want to be there.

5. Good Music - Now I understand that this is subjective. But this doesn't just mean one genre specifically. I just want the music to be something that I can get into. Endlessly pounding house music, or god awful top 40 hip hop songs are going to guarantee that I'm not going to be there very long. A variety is good, and throwing in some classic tracks with some newer stuff is ideal. A good dj that reads the crowd and varies the sounds accordingly goes a long way for me.

So there you have it, the rules to the game. And No Malice comes through on every one. No prentious guestlist or dresscode. Couches to chill out on while I bob my head to classic 90's tribe and hot new dancehall tracks. The crowd is laid back (although could be a little more diverse) and I've never been there and not had a good time.

So check it out next time you are near the LES/East village.

No Malice Palace
197 E. 3rd St. between Aves. A and B
There's no sign, but the friendly bouncer will let you know you're at the right spot.

1 comment(s):

  • if by "more diverse" you mean more "laides" then i definetly agree. maybe all those optimal conditions are what bring so many dudes just like-a you to the palace. just the same, i love it, and being a lady-- i get my choice of the finest of the anti-pretentious bar crowd...

    i pick Paul.

    By Blogger jebbiespepper, at 2:09 PM  

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